Last weekends thoroughly depressing point against West Ham landed onto this seasons ignited chip pan of Evertonian hopes and dreams like a damp tea towel lashed by a cowering east end Dot Cotton .
Then again, the same people will tell you that we are currently in administration, Phillip Green has Billy boy over a barrel for a loan, we're defo going down and that Moyes will resign at the precise moment that Soloman Kalou slots Chelsea's 4th at the street end on Saturday(with no reply). Reading that back actually, non of it would remotely surprise me, not to mention get me ever so slightly irritated...*strikes match*.
Think back to that glorious scorching hot day in early summer 2009, all of us scrambling for a golden ticket, dabbing on our Smurf paint, squinting in the sunlight and dousing our hungover gullets with a 10am Lager from a whole manner of welcoming hostelry owners throughout the capital. It all seemed to be coming together. The managers plans, his style of football, talented football players in Royal blue all playing for each other, silverware. Not even the loss of a Baresi-a-like Jagielka to a freak injury before the final could dampen the spirit and destiny afoot. We'd strode defiantly past Aston Villa, Middlesborough, Mancester United and even the all spawning red shite by a flooky last minute goal. This was our year.
Then THHHHHWAAAACCKKKK! Louis Saha almost rips the net out of its foundations after 25 seconds and makes Evertonians quiver, cry and ejaculate in equal measure, whilst simultaneously windmilling into a toffee flavoured orbit.
The surface of the Sun, Frank Lampard, Tony Hibbert and an American fellas wrists being made of paper mache, all conspired against us and made us curse our luck as we shared the tube with Chelsea fans keen to beat the rush home and nip off before they lift the cup, spoilt cunts. It's been slowly but surely downhill ever since, with some dissenting voices claiming its the best we could ever have hoped for with the financial restraints we've been under for what now feels like forever.
In Chelsea's last 3 games they've conceded none and scored 13, and look to be ironing out what looked like a horrendous shitstain of bad form right down the middle of this seasons underpants. From looking unplayable at the start of the season, they went on this mad run of form which ominously coincided with Ray Wilkins departure. ''Those bastard billionaire owners eh? How dare he sack Ray....£52 million bid for Aguero and Godin from Atletico you say?......he's alright is Roman''. It seems they've picked up their continental trollies from the dry cleaners now though and couldn't wish to visit Goodison at a more hospitable time for opposition teams.
It really will take something special from Everton to overcome Chelsea on saturday. No relying on County road rocket fuel to roar us to victory either, the 12:30 kick off was a real pisser when it was released and it has put paid to that slim vein of hope for most toffees. Everton may have Jagielka back but look decidedly gummy when going forward, with now only 2 and a half strikers on the books. Tim Cahill, our only talisman of sorts, has helped his country get to the Asia Cup Final and will miss it, the flamin galaa. Can you get FA Cup heroes on free transfers these days? I heard Jeremie Aliadiere is free.
Fuck all this negativity though, this is the FA Cup and more importantly this is Everton, its not like were not used losing our best players. Ball, Lineker, Ferguson, Rooney, Pienaar and many more will come and go as well as incompetent boardrooms and we'll all still be there in spirit and in our armchairs.
People toying with the idea of jibbing it this weekend need to have a look at themselves and work out whether they can afford it or not, if you can, get there, your club needs you.
...and we need a hero.
Up the toffos.
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