Wednesday 19 January 2011

West Ham Preview

Along come West Ham. Seemingly rudderless, O'neill-less, Allerdyce-less West'ammmmmmm Yurnoited. Im struggling to work out whether this is a good time to play these or not. Im leaning towards probably after they've been jibbed by all and sundry over the last week for a managerial position that was still filled. I feel for them a bit, Im no plucky Hammer, but can you honestly imagine your club, steeped in tradition, Kendall Harvey Ball, your very own Everton, being owned by these two?



An increasingly voiciferous section of Everton's support these days continue to call for change at the very top of the club, possibly for changes sake, who knows? Im not entirely sure people are fully aware of the uncertainty that could bring. Yes, it's tediously depressing to reach each transfer window, be it close season or in January, without a pot to piss in.... by the way, could they have picked a more depressing month to have to endure every other team in the league being linked with your better players? I mean you're there after Christmas and New Year feeling ropey anyway, poking and tutting at your gut, spying your bank balance, trying to eat better, then Jim White on Sky Sports News cheerily tells you Redknapp is tapping up Evertons entire first team, innocently of course. Sometimes it just feels like Everton were never gonna be cut out to play the Sky game with the other big boys, anyway back to the point... would you swap the relative stability we have at the moment with our pertinacious yet realistic board and manager working in unison, for what West Ham seem to be going through? No ta.
Gold, Sullivan and Brady figuratively tickling the balls of Big Sam and Martin, right under the nose of the leagues now super stooge, Avram Grant. It stinks basically. Old school meddling owners of football clubs were here long before the new breed of foreign cry arsing instant results billionaires. One thing is for sure though, the moment Kenwright et al started choosing David Moyes playing or coaching staff for him or courting other managers behind his back(never mind tickling the balls of), is the moment him and Everton would be no more, be careful what you wish for etc etc, ask our cuddly brethren across the way how that can work out for you.


Steven Pienaar's gone. Are there any Evertonians actually left who are genuinely emotionally effected by players jibbing us these days? We'll miss the talented little braided get thats for sure, particularly his partnership with Leighton Baines. People will continue to question the integrity of his move to Spurs, but fundamentally he honoured his entire contract with us(sort of) and leaves David Moyes with almost exactly what he paid Borussia Dortmund for him 4 years ago, so he can go and unearth another little gem just like him....stop laughing at the back!....seriously though, you'll struggle to find a harder working and more skillful player combined, to pull on the royal blue for some time, thanks for the memories Peenutz(sic).

What of the actual playing staff at West Ham though? It was only 4 league games ago that we went down there and stunk the Boleyn out playing no recognised strikers, but luckily managed to come away with a point. Seems quite long ago dunnit? Obinna and Piquionne are two mobile young forwards who've both been linked with the blues before they signed for the Irons, who no doubt could cause you problems when on song and everybody knows about the threat that captain Scott Parker poses. Not forgetting uber snide Luis Boa Morte in case the game needs that added injection of complete and utter twattery to spice up proceedings.


So then, since last playing them and adopting a different approach to our game from the outset and after an impressive second half display in derby and with these rooted to the foot of the table (ha! 2 wins away from all conquering Everton), we should snot them yes? Im gonna go out on a limb here and say that if we dont achieve anything other than a home win on Saturday afternoon, be it of the thunderous and comprehensive twatting out of sight variety or even the meek and fortuitous in off Beckfords 'biffins bridge' one niller. This season can well and truly get to fucking Frodsham.

Onwards and Upwards Toffeemen, no excuses.

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