Chelsea FA Cup 4th Round Preview

Chelsea have been fucking weird this season. At the start of this term they looked like some sort of runaway wrought-iron, soviet freight train, thundering past anybody standing in front of them through the sheer weight of experience and ability available to their manager. Then Roman Abramovich nonchalantly decided to get involved. He inexplicably sacked the crabbish cockney glue that was Ray Wilkins, which according to some was holding together the galaxy of primed footballing athletes the oligarch has been collecting since he bought Chelsea. Its basically all turned to stuttering, festering Rat shite ever since, in relative terms of course.



I reckon he may have cherry picked Carlo Ancelotti based upon his impressive mutual eyebrow prowess. Ancelotti's one raised, comedy bond villain effort befits a man who seems indefatigably not entirely sure whether or not he's just touched cloth or not. Whereas his employers perma raised how-now-one-brow promotes the mood of a man who's so mind bendingly filthy rich, that he has not got one stinking little thing to furrow about. Not a worry line in sight, the lucky bum fluffed chinned get.



The match itself and the chance to avenge 2009 comes off the back of a terrible away showing at The Reebok, and by 'terrible away showing' I mean 'utterly fucking clueless'. Moyes looked a thoroughly beaten man sat there on the sidelines at times, certainly one who knew unequivocally whether or not he'd shat his strides so to speak. ''Pass me a roll of quilted AloeVera please Steve...they've done it to me again''. From Cahill's missed header, to Beckford both surprisingly and vitriolically getting on Fellaini's case for missing a pass, it truly was a day to forget.

Maybe if we could welcome back Louis Saha this weekend, you'd be hard pushed not to give us a fighters chance in the capital, he does love playing against these after all, the enormous fart that he is. Both teams seasons, again relatively speaking, have been catalogued with inconsistency. Everton's leaving us in a shit or bust situation for Saturday and Chelsea's resulting in them realistically being out of the title race (still in the Champions League like), woe are fucking them.

This all being the case and as much as a cliche as it is, it leaves you thinking that with 6000 expectant Evertonian's making their way down to Stamford Bridge (which in itself is both staggering given how awful we've been at times this season and also testament to just how important this game is to us) anything really is possible in the FA Cup.



Anyway Everton, you owe us this weekend. ''We shall not be moved...''