Blackburn Match Report

Mikel Arteta, wearing the lovely Amber kit with his alarmingly well ironed hair, after having an utter stinker, brushed off current penalty taker Leighton Baines protestations and slammed home a last minute controversial penalty winner when Marouanne Fellaini was simultaneously closelined and suplexed by the Legion of Doom late on, winning a weird old game at Ewood Park, that was the tale of 3 penalties.


Early on in proceedings the game was chuntering along rather lazily and never really managed to get going from Everton or Blackburns perspective. The Toffees tried and failed throughout the first half to out-muscle or outplay a mediocre home side who were beginning to dominate when David Dunn hit the post after the impressive Hoilett had set him up.


The same two players were involved again in a way just after half time.With David Dunn going off injured, thank fuck for that, Junior Hoilett stepped up and had a penalty saved after a snivelling shithouse of a player, Formica, completely took the piss out of an inexperienced and fragile looking Barkley, when leaving his leg dangling to ''look for a penalty'', all perfectly acceptable too according to Alan Shearer, they hateful geordie turd.

If Howards subsequent save here wasn't Karmic enough, then Formica hitting the post after he'd gone looking for another one, and got it from Jagielka, was reet pleasing. Even after both of those opportunities went begging for the hosts, it still wasn't enough to spark Everton into life and to get the ball down and play a bit. The lack of hunger and commitment at this point was worrying.



Oh well, Balding porker referee Lee Mason, who had completely lost count of were he was up to in terms of even-ing things up it up for the team he'd last wronged, pointed to the spot in injury time after Marouanne Fellaini was sort of tag teamed by two Blackburn grocks when competing for a Phil Neville throw in. Arteta with the minimum of fuss and flying in the face of our usual penalty taker Baines, did the rest. What people would be saying if he'd blurted it high, wide or indeed handsome doesn't bare thinking about. He didnt though. First 3 points of the season in the bag, next up Villa.