CHELSEA MATCH REPORT

Chelsea all too predictably managed to deliver the expected shagging that most Evertonians had seen coming late on Saturday. The previous good results we had gleaned from this fixture were swept aside in the most clinical and abrupt manner as the hosts ran out 3-1 winners, with the Velios late goal giving the scoreline an undeserved respectable outlook.

We started the game brightly enough, with some early incisive passing and direct play, but as is far too familiar with the team of late, after all the endeavour they employ in the build up, eventually they just look completely flaccid when the ball arrives in the attacking areas of the pitch. Much will always be said about Saha's work rate, but in terms of the job we had to do on Saturday evening, his game was probably our best option for trying to compete in the midfield with the extra man and trying to nick something up top. It just doesn't work any more though. Chipping away at the first team squad each window and selling off all our prized nuggets without any calculated reinvestment is starting to make these hopeful performances and tactical plans less and less likely.

It was on the half hour mark Everton conceded the first. Juan Mata was pretty special throughout the entire game, showing a range of passing and jinking runs Evertonians can only dream of these days, he sent Cole racing away for the opener with an exquisite pass behind our defence and if arch Cunt Ashley Cole meant his deft half volley of a cross to the incoming Daniel Sturridge then he's maybe less of a Cunt than i thought. I reckon he was trying to lob Tim Howard myself though, so he'll remain a Cunt for the foreseeable im afraid. Sorry ''Ash''.

The real killer blow came on the stroke of half time, it wouldn't of been outside the realms of possibility for Everton to have gone on to a battling point away from home if they went in at half time just one down, as it was though, John Terry managed to rise above 3 Everton players and Tim Howard flapping in mid air like an overly anxious Seabird to nod home a Frank Lampard free kick, on closer inspection though it seems a completely unarsed Marouanne Fellaini gave him a friendly bunk up to finish the job. That was game over right there. Or maybe the impetus Evertons management needed to completely change tack and try something else? 

Whichever way you look at it, they came out deflated and doing exactly the same after the break what had failed them in the first. It was Ramires sliding in the 3rd and a possible rout on the cards that sprung the Everton manager into making his first changes to his system after an hour. Drenthe came on for an under par Coleman first and struggled against the athleticism of Chelsea's midfield. It was Moyes 3rd sub, significantly now Evertons top scorer, that managed to combine with the pocket dynamite Dutchman to give the scoreline a respectable look on 80 minutes. A change forcing a change in the way we play, change! Evertonians for Change! Change.

Propping up the form table and maybe luckily not taking up our annual position propping up the actual league table at this stage is starting to worry some, and rightly so. We need to start putting points on the board and our three upcoming league games look decidedly ropey. Away to Fulham were we have only won once since they returned from obscurity and been battered most other times, home to league champions United, then away to an unbeaten and whisper it quietly an attacking Newcastle United team. Where are the points coming from? Or more pointedly, the goals to win games? Me neither.

There's only so many cogs you can remove from an old, reliable and dependant Clock and its system without replacing them with newer, shiner more hard-wearing ones and not expecting the poor fucker to finally give up the ghost. I just hope the Clock-maker and his supplier have the instructions and/or the dough for the replacements, the clock is ticking, just.