Friday 28 October 2011

MANCHESTER UNITED PREVIEW

Calling this fixture against arguably the leagues most poisonous away following should really be relatively straightforward. Current league champions, law of averages and not winning at Goodison for 3 visits, a team bristling with talent in every position being wounded after getting mauled by their most hated rivals 6-1 at home (if only they'd obsess and hate you back eh Pewlers?). Surely nothing other than an away win will be served up here after our lacklustre start to the season? In the words of the Atlantic spanning arch pervert Lloyd Grossman: Lets Look At The Evidence...


 


After going through years and years of home and away spankings to these scouse baiting planks, then managing to achieve a few good results against them, certainly in the last 5 years or so. Its almost at the point now where the feeling of beating or getting a relatively decent result against the best team in the country for the last twenty years has been diluted to the point of 'not arsed'. By rights they should sweep aside tomorrow with minimum fuss. They dont like playing us here though.

     

One of the greatest footballing talents of his generation and far and away their best player, Wayne Rooney, the lad who carried the hopes and dreams of every Evertonian on the planet in his palm not so long back. Who not only went onto wipe his gibbon like arse with said palm, but proceeded to then spell out the words ''HA! HA! HA! HA! LITTLE EVERTON'' on the side of Goodison in his pungent, brown, Croxteth faeces, sometimes get rested against us for his own good according to his manager. I'm going to stick my neck on the line here but the only people it benefits are us. He feeds on hatred that fat legged baldy biff, and hopefully much to his chagrin, there just doesn't seem to be much out there for him to feed on any more. He wont be rested tomorrow, you can bet your life on that, anything other than a win for them would be seen as a mini disaster with City's Petro-Dollars sweeping everybody aside.



One player Evertonians will be happy not to have to face is Ashley Young, he who achieved similar grades to Ashley Cole at 'Cunt School', why would you call your kid Ashley by the way? Boy or Girl, you're basically guaranteeing them being a whingeing little shitbag for all their days. He loves playing against us anyway and the thought of him tying knots in Tony Hibberts Huyton swingers tomorrow is enough to give you nightmares.

There was evidence on Wednesday night against a weakened but still impressive Chelsea team, that we may be starting to find that familiar groove we usually discover about mid November. It would be reet nice if we played in a similar vein as wednesday from the off for tomorrows ludicrous 12 noon kick off. Christ knows what Moyes will decide to put out, but should everybody be available apart from the suspended Drenthe, it would be nice to see something adventurous and different. A role for Bilyaletdinov behind Saha? I know, i know, dont be so fucking stupid. A similar performance to wednesday night for him personally or even a repeat of his rasping manc muting thunderbolt from two years ago would be warmly greeted by suffering Evertonians thats for sure. How about:

***************Howard****************
Hibbert*****Heitinga******Distin*****Baines

Osman*****Rodwell*****Fellaini*****Barkley

********Bilyaletdinov********************
*****************Saha*****************

Its like a broken record this, but we are not expected to beat these tomorrow by anybody and we've had the square root of fuck all to cheer about this season so far. So can we try and start here please? Dour conservatism not only doesnt work for us but seems to sap all the energy from the stands which in games like these can sway them into your favour. Get the team selection right, get a decent referee, get the crowd going early on and who the fuck knows.

Up those glorious Toffeemen.

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