Tuesday 1 November 2011

MANCHESTER UNITED MATCH REPORT

At the 12 noon kick off Everton made United work hard for a victory which depressingly led to the homes teams 5th loss in 6 games. How we're not rooted to the foot of the table either speaks volumes for the amount of shite that is swilling about in this league or possibly how we've been very lucky to get some of the results we have done. Next up! Champions League chasing Newcastle United. I shite-th thee not.

Losing battle: John Heitinga (right) fears Everton face an uphill struggle

Hernandez scored a cheap goal when Johnny Heitinga fell a kip ball watching in the 19th minute and until that point, apart from an early burst into the box from Coleman for the blues, United had looked every inch the champions and were knocking it about with impunity. Then things sort of changed, we pretty much matched them all over the pitch and could in some ways be deemed unlucky not to have got a well earned point from an unusually polite 90 minutes, well apart from the near constant stream of vitriol from the away section in the Bullens road. Baines exquisite free kick rebounding off the bar was the closest we came throughout, but there were half chances for Fellaini, Rodwell and Osman.

Javier Hernandez (right) celebrates his goal with teammates Patrice Evra and Tom Cleverley
One particular individual performance in Diniyar Bilyaletdinov, after an encouraging display midweek, not only did he stink the gaffe out, but he deemed it appropriate to spray the old lady from top to bottom using one of those industrial sized manure spreading machines. How many times will the lad get a chance to prove his detractors wrong? Presumably until somebody comes along and spares his manager blushes by offering something, anything, for him. He seems so far out of his depth and ponderous when on the ball, I just feel really sorry for him now. Baines wont even look at him most of the time, its like Bily gatecrashed into Leighton's respectable Christmas Kirkby family dinner bladdered on high grade Russian Vodka, then curled off a stunning Soviet Stool on top of their Marksies Turkey, right in front of his mum, and nan. A surprise and a half it was then to see David Moyes show so much assertiveness and haul the frigger of at half time.

One slightly weird yet satisfying thing about this fixture, from where i was sitting anyway, was the almost complete indifference people treated Wayne Rooney with. Gone is the Shrek masked shrieking, jeering and booing, all replaced with the a half arsed ''aaahhhhh'' when he missed the odd pass, with him looking distinctly off the boil considering how good he's been all season. That's the way it should have been all along i reckon. He clearly still loves Everton, such are the virtual nods he gives us via his smartphone and Twitter all the time. So lets just leave it be eh?

Fingers crossed: Kenwright (right) has been searching for new investors ''Ill just have one of those thin Chapati's this time Jon, the Naan goes straight to my waistline....''

All that was left then was for giddy talk about Indian Takeaway's and for the referee, Mark Halsey, who did ok most of the day, to deny Everton a last minute penalty and possible equaliser when Patrice Evra clearly felled Magaye Gueye whilst bearing down on goal. Uniteds trumpet playing prohibition looking left back may not have meant it, but it was a clear goalscoring oppurtunity so therefore should have been a penalty. End of.

Encouraging, honestly.

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