NEWCASTLE UNITED MATCH REPORT

Who's getting worried then? A quarter of the league season behind us and Everton are exhibiting some true defeatist relegation form. 10 points in 10 games and a point off the relegation zone, depressing. Moyes apparently went there expecting nothing from the referee and as it happens he got nothing from a uncharacteristically frugal Newcastle United side either. He was right about getting diddly squat off the man in charge, but something seriously has to change in terms of how we are approaching games each week, maybe he could start with his attitude. We've been here before in an early season relegation scrap, but this team has a worrying lack of direction and leadership, not to mention being hauntingly thin.



As if to kick sand fully in the face of the manager who had been trying to freshen things up with his starting line ups, Johnny Heitinga got the ball rolling after 12 minutes (literally), by slotting effortlessly into his own net from a harmless low Danny Simpson cross. Soft. He may as well have tied a beautiful black and white bow onto the ball and toe ended it past Howard full blast into the net from 2 yards out. The daft Dutch fraudulent hard man. We threatened little in response to that, there was half chances for Saha, Rodwell and Osman, but no sustained pressure or possession which may have ended with us getting back into a wining position. In truth it all just felt too predictable.



Next on the Toon gift list is the most Kopite looking twat on the planet, Ryan 'perma gob on' Taylor, smile you red-shite twat. Jack Rodwell who has  looked great since his derby day red card and a few games before,  was almost as generous as Heitinga when he dutifully set up the one cunt on the pitch you didn't want get one against us. A marvellous strike nonetheless. We'll let the new England international off though, as he threw Everton the lifeline they needed with a cracking header from a Drenthe cross with the last kick of the first half. 2-1 at the break then.



Evertons substitutions sort of give you an indication about what is going on at the club just now. Neville off for the benched Distin just before the break, Cahill then on for the now mid fielded Heitinga just after the break, then a one paced James McFadden coming on in the last 10 minutes to try and save you the game for a right back. Confusion and indecision about roles, best positions and game plans all over the place. The only real talking points of any note in the second half from Evertons perspective, was reluctant boo boy Dan Gosling weirdly only just making his home debut for the Magpies coming on, then comedically hand balling in the Newcastle box only for it to be ignored by big time homer Andre Mariner. Who's parents must have been having a right wheeze at the Births Registry Office, ''Hello Sailor...'' indeed.

So then, a much needed(sic) international break for Moyes and his charges to ruminate on exactly where they find themselves again early on in the season and how best to deal with it, up to the apricots in the brown stuff and rising to be precise. Maybe someone needs to go over to Bellefield and see if they left the Karaoke machine in with the old lawn mowers or something.

Get them Hymn sheets passed round errrr...Roundy!