NEWCASTLE UNITED PREVIEW

Be careful what you wish for is a statement that is often bandied about by anti-Bunion'ers, you could end up with someone like Mike Ashley selling all your best players and your Captain... Now by no means am i lauding the wholesale efforts of the laugh a minute Cockney Mafia up at St James Park, but only the most one-eyed, pig headed Evertonian couldn't be bloody impressed with their unbeaten start to the season. Were in November after all.

   

There was a time not so long ago when the Geordies were protesting like their lives depended on it. Unlike us classy Scousers(sic), im not sure they go for marches up there, they just tend to congregate on those steps outside/underneath St James Park grunting their disapproval and slamming their fists into the concrete with force...UG! Its all gone suspiciously quiet though, and who can blame them? To give them their official half term report, they look 'fucking decent' to put it bluntly. In short: start playing some good stuff, get the rub of the green here or there, string a few results together and all the fidgeting militant conspiracy theorists will soon button it and get behind the side. Liverpool and Manchester United are the trailblazers in this current footballing phenomenon and unfortunately we are the inverted weirdo pretenders to it. Modern Football Fans In Heaving Bellends Shocker.





Everyone thought things looked a bit ropey for them early on after losing that kopite twat Nolan, Sweet Carrol 9 and the voice of footballing reason, Joey Barton. But lo and behold, all the talk up there is of a team spirit not seen at the club since those halcyon days of yore when Wor Kev was losing them the title. Maybe there is something in this management lark?

 ''Ive got a lovely little 3 bedroom semi you should have a look at sweetheart....what?...my comission?...Im sure we can com to a little arrangement...'' Slime.

Pardew who described David Moyes as one of ''The Best Managers In The World'', im not lying, and some of Newcastles impressive acquisitions like Yohan Cabaye, Cheik Tiote and....*gulps*....Demba Ba have fired them into the Champions league positions early on and they dont look like they want shifting. What happened to needing billions to turn things around these days? Hold on, how much is the fat fucking tit who sells the Lonsdale socks to kopites worth? Ah well, the orc hordes need their socks, but you get my point. They've tightened their belts(a bit), pulled together and seem to be enjoying things.

Arteta's last truly brilliant performance for the blues came here last season in March when he orchestrated a great 2-1 away win and we'll really miss his guile tomorrow. Holding onto the ball will be important tomorrow as like at Goodison, keeping the home crowd happy can be a bloody chore at times, so lots of possession and an early goal could be vital for us to use that potential frustration in the stands against them, easier said than done. All the self belief will be with the home side too who secured as impressive an away win you can get these days up against Stoke's Meathead Eleven on Monday night and we're coming off the back of 5 enthusiasm sapping dips.

Still, in the words of our ever more influential and returning rent-a-quote Royston Drenthe ''We are going to Newcastle to win because we are boys, WITH BIG BALLS...''. Quite.



You've got to warm to the lad. Up the toffees!